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aiman. alouis'1o. aniza. anying'o8. amanda'o6. amelia'11. arthur. avis'15. chewsiang'o7. chunli'o5. denise. darren'o6. eca. gusti. hafiz. hasyimah. huiya. ili. jacqueline'o4. jacqueline'13. jasmin. jasmine'o8. jasmine. jialan. jidan. jieshi. jinling. joanna'o8. joey'o4. juliana. katek'o5. kokboon'o7. maizurah. marcus'o8. meifong. melissa'o5. minghee'11. mingmin'o8. nerissa'13. palvin. phyllis'11. qiaoyi. ramizah. rinna'o5. rinna'2. rose. sera. sheryl'o7. shihua. shirley. shirley soon. shufang. siti. vivian. wee rong'o8. weihui jie'o7. weixin jie'o7. wenbin'o6. wenjin. yilin'15. yongyiok'12. zhanhong'o5.

Credits

Designer | Basecodes

Monday, June 06, 2011 10:56 AM

It's 1050am now. I woke up, read your message, felt the pain and I'm crying. There's nothing I can do. God, why? I'm sorry for being bad and rebellious for the past few years but why do you have to put me to such ordeal? What if I choose to die and not pass this obstacle? I'm not as strong as you think I am or can be. I'm weak. Ah.. As much as I need you, want you back in my life, I think probably life is gonna be so different for both of us. The fact that you think it's okay to meet fortnightly already hurt me tad bad. You rubbed salt into my wound when you told me you don't miss me like before. It's okay that you don't but you don't see anything for you to be missing me the same. Idk what to do. I'm like lost in the jungle, hanging on the trees and not knowing how to release myself. Maybe I'm just not gonna be your partner for life, probably things will never be the same again. Idk when will I ever forget you but I seriously hope this pain can subdue because I'm losing myself from all these. I wish you all the best in whatever you do. Please forget me and find someone who deserves you better. I really want to see you, the past you, again. Take care. Best wishes, my friend.

Sunday, June 05, 2011 5:07 PM

Idk what I was waiting for? Probably in hope of you to ask me out, again, thus I kept my sunday free this week. I didn't have to cancel any prior meet-up with my friends just to be able to see you because I straightaway told everyone that I'm unavailable on Sunday. I even pushed all my tuitions to a weekday in hope of ending the tuition timing earlier so that I can see you longer. Yet, I waited for nothing. When I knew my hopes were dashed, I tried asking my friends out since yesterday and everyone kept telling me that they've plans already. What's up girl, why is my life this messed up? Like shucks, I'm gonna be alone this Sunday! Fortunately, I managed to find companion in the last minute. Still, some part of me was waiting for you to ask me out. What's wrong with me, like seriously? I shouldn't even be expecting that you'll want to meet me every single week. I've many friends who wants to meet me before I fly to London but why aren't you inclusive in the list? I just gotta learn to move on, to survive life without hoping to see you. I promised myself to never be this foolish again. Count yourself lucky if you find myself free on a weekend again.

Thursday, June 02, 2011 2:13 AM

The following entry will be posted in Chinese because I've always personally think that Chinese is able to express feelings better than English. However, if you were to notice any error, please pardon me as my Chinese isn't very good.

在他人的手里，我满脑子都在想着你。不知不觉，我发现到其实我还是深深地爱着你。为何老天爷要这样的折磨我？我到底上辈子做错了什么，为何要象现在这样得惩罚我？为什么我的决定竟然会遭受到这种结果？人总是说，＂从哪里跌倒就从哪里爬起来。＂但问题是，我到底有没有办法从我跌倒的地方爬起来呢？

我很清楚自己做或选错，要自己承担。但为什么会连累到他人的心？为什么我选择之后才发现到他有多么的爱我？为什么爱这个字要这么复杂？为什么就不能让人生就平平淡淡的过日子？我的心，就如心如刀割，很痛，很痛。我很想就这样拥抱着你，永远都不放开。

自从发现到自己还有多么的喜欢、爱你，我就夜夜失眠和满脑里都是烦恼。真的好希望能象往常一样在你的旁边睡个好觉。真的好久没有一躺在床上就睡觉了。我到底几时才能恢复我正常的睡眠呢？好期待又能在你的怀抱睡着。

那一天会到来吗？ :(

Sunday, May 08, 2011 12:35 PM

On this annual occasion, I would like to thank my mother for her unconditional love and continuous upbringing. Without her teachings, I had probably be an average kid and not even taking up a degree course at all. It is her countless effort in ensuring that this family is bonded together and I know that whenever I need help, I can always turn around to seek comfort from them.

Though she may be a little too naggy, a little too grumpy at times, gets easily snapped by nitty gritty stuff, likes to bicker with me at all sorts of stuff, I still love her for being this way as these memories have been carved inside my heart. Nothing can change it and it is these memories that matters the most to me.

Last year, I had to wish 2 mothers. This year? Only 1. Put the blame on me.

Wishing all mothers happy mother's day and for their life to be filled with youthfulness and prosperity. *MUACK!

Friday, May 06, 2011 12:16 AM

I am down with flu and some irritation at throat. Seriously, why find me when this is my exam period?

04/05, Wednesday, was my economics paper and I MUST say that this year's paper was damn difficult and different. I tried all the questions from 2005-2010, in hope of achieving a first class grade for this module but apparently I think my hopes were dashed. Plus, I did not manage to finish 1 short micro and 0.5 long macro question. Oh shucks, there goes 21 marks. All that I can do now is to hope that there is moderation and the bell curve would actually be beneficial to me.

05/05, Thursday, was my statistics paper. Though it was supposed to be easy if you remembered all the formulas and understood the concepts well, I think I will get a moderate pass mark only. I was not able to complete my paper again.. I was like trying to show off my handwriting? Writing really slowly and taking my own sweet time to complete the questions. Argh, seriously, what's wrong with me? In addition, I think I annoyed people around me with my "ahem ahem" and "kekeke" because my throat was itching real badly.

I will be taking my mathematics paper later. I totally have no confidence in this module and even am afraid of failing it. I used to like mathematics and be relatively good at it during my secondary 4 days. Look now, what has studying in republic polytechnic done to me? I totally did not touch mathematics from age of 16 till now. (FYI, I am 21 this year.) If I had gone to other polytechnic, I would probably have not forgotten how to do the problems already. No point crying over spilled milk and the only thing I can do is to practice, practice and practice.

There is 2 more papers to go, sociology on 10/05 and introduction to business management on 12/05. I cannot wait for 12/05 at 530pm. It will probably be one of the best time in 2011 and heaving a big sigh of relief. Screaming loudly at the top of my voice, "IT IS HOLIDAY!!! AWESOME SHIET!!!"

Hope I can persevere till 12/05. Hoho, cannot wait to relax! I totally dread the need to study.

Monday, May 02, 2011 2:00 AM

After living for almost 21 years, I realized I made the world most stupidest mistake last year. I always comment that others are stupid for doing something irrational but hey, guess this is where karma took place. I did something that I guess I will regret for as long as I live.

No one will ever understand my current feelings now. I feel like as though I'm haunted by my own stupidity, heart squeezed up in a puny box, brain filled with multiple thoughts and mouth wanting to rant so much stuff out. I have no idea who to tell because I will be labelled as a bitch after telling them how I feel.

Seriously, I need a place to write how I feel so can readers of my blog just ignore whatever I write here? If you can't, it is perfectly okay because I had totally understand how you will feel towards having a friend like me. If you can, thank god for being magnanimous and still befriending me despite my major flaw.

I think I'm in love, not with the person you think I am with. I have no idea why I am doing what I am doing now but honestly, I have a strong urge to talk to you. I just want to see your name appearing on my screen once again. You just make my heart flutter. I think of you almost every time and I hope I did not have to think of you either because I know it's wrong. I know whatever I am hoping in me now will never ever happen because I have hurt you way too much for everything to be back the same again.

God. Please bless me with wisdom and rationality in the near future if I ever have to make such choice again. I do not want to live with regrets like how I am living right now.

As I typed this post, tears are overwhelming in my eyes because deep down inside me, I know things will never be the same again. I know this grave mistake will probably cause my future happiness. I know I will regret making this decision forever. I know this will haunt me for a period of time. Though it hurts. I wish you all the best.

Please forgive me for being a bitch.

With love,
Geraldine.

Wednesday, March 02, 2011 1:26 PM

I had my Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) operation on February 18th, Friday.
Initially I was very cool about having an operation, no fear was instilled in me.
However, as I walked to the admission counter in Gleneagles Hospital,
I started wondering whether these were all real or just a dream.
No words can be used to describe the kind of fear while waiting for the surgery to begin.
Tears overwhelmed me while I was in the holding room and fortunately,
I had my mother's companion if not I guess the flow of tears would have been worse.

Like any other normal procedure, I "slept" after the anaethestic was injected.
Everything was already completed after I regained consciousness.
I could vaguely remember my mother, the surgeon and his assistant talking when I woke up.
Within a few minutes, I fell back to sleep again.
The next moment when I opened my eyes, I saw Jinhui.
I felt real happy because though we were not very close, she came to visit me! :)
I have many people I want to thank.

Thank you Amelia, Annabel, Quanhong and Derek for coming.
Thank you Hanchuan for your companion over the phone when I was awake in the ward.
Thank you Amelia, Sheihyiin, Lingdi, Quanhong, Kent, Zixiang, Hanchuan, Kevin, Allan
& (more to come) for the visit at my house ever since I was discharged.
Thank you to all those who have expressed concern for my surgery.

They say 1-2 good friends are enough to walk the whole mile and I am glad I have a bunch! :)